"Cuss.service.sucks"
It's bad, no terrible, no unbelievable: a situation from "customer service hell". I never sent this letter although I really really wanted to. It served as a "venting rant" so needed that fine day :-)
Gentlemen,
By the time I send this letter off, it will be just short of twenty four hours since I sent my email to Michelle at "Some-resume-company.com" with editorial comments and the necessary information to finalize my resume and this...(can't think of an appropriate word yet) situation.
I want to tell you Michelle was kind enough to write me in the AM and mentioned that she attempted to call me, furnished a unique excuse why the calls failed, and at the same time coughed up her opinion about my original resume. Now, I don’t know Michelle but I can make some very experienced guesses to her commitment towards customer service. Why would I do this or even want to and what does it have to do with my resume situation? I'm trying to find the humor in a situation that's really getting under my skin.
Well, gentlemen I have to laugh, it's all about timing isn't it and communication and oh boy the big one, Murphy's Law. I'm sure you understand how all three can lead up to interesting and sometimes perplexing situations. I believe you are more appreciative than Michelle of what "customer service" is all about. I mention this because of your responses to my emails and reactions to the situation compared to hers. You were direct, prompt and courteous in your responses. And if you are not as I guess, than you have the true spirit of helping people and understand the responsibility toward customer satisfaction. The following story is not to pick on Michelle, she may or may not deserve it, it's just a story, a good way to vent frustration and apply the humor, at least that's the idea.
Well, onward with my little story to brighten the day… I came home yesterday after a bad day at the office and opened the email from Michelle. I knew the first order of business was to get my ducks in a row and make a list of the concerns and errors in my resume so that I could get it sent back to Michelle and fixed up for this coming weekend…
A weekend free…ah, where I could spend the time and submit my new resume to various places to start my long awaited job search. One that I am or was, I guess, very excited about. You see, a few years ago after a series of events I lost almost everything accept the shirt on my back and was forced to settle into a "semi-truck" to make a living. A living to survive the times and make sure my 3 children were financially supported. It's been four years of fighting back, finding my self worth and arriving at the decision to move forward, no matter how difficult, and make some necessary changes in my life. To get back into the working world as a "professional" and achieve my goals and aspirations. When I saw "Some-resume-company.com" I thought, "this sounds really good".
It's obvious that I am severely handicapped when it comes to writing my own resume. I have tried over the last 15 years to do a good job, no, a great job and it just comes out sounding terrible. So, it sounds like "Some-resume-company.com" has the experienced writers that can work the miracles that I need.
It took me 2 hours of sweat and struggle to decide to "go for it" that is, rebuild my resume. Why? Because I was scared of failure? I didn't know what was in store for the future? It's safe now and why try to fix anything when it's not broke? Well, I don't know, but I started the process. I dug out old records and scanned documents and I got excited! I'm DOING IT! Finally, moving on.
I submitted the form on "Some-resume-company.com" and waited with anticipation. In another 24-48 hours I would be re-vamped and could only hope that someone else successfully fixed my job history to make sense out of it and make it sing in the eyes of a potential employer, this would be good.
In other words gentlemen, "my descriptive life of work" was going to change.
You have to understand that I "identify" with work strongly, it's a source of gratification. After all, I spend most of my day, doing it. I wish I could have led the perfect lives of those people who have done all the right things with their careers. Well not really, that probably would have been incredibly boring. It just so happens mine keeps falling prey to life circumstances and maybe some bad choices, I don't know for sure. No problem though, just that trying to make it all look good is a challenge.
…And here comes Michelle with the wonderful comment in her email about how my resume is now "improved". Humm. Now why would Michelle take the time to come up with such a thought? After all the foul ups? Is she really looking for the positive side of the situation? Not mine, is she? Looking for a way to defend what has happened? Not her job, is it? The problem exists already and she's going to take care of the problems/concerns because she has been "made aware of the situation". That's it, simple, my resume needs fixed, right? And she's going to do it, pronto because of the situation. She is the "big fix"!
Well, I spent the next three hours detailing out all the things I thought were necessary to convey my concerns and to clarify mistakes for Michelle. I also spent a great deal of time to make it easier for her to access the reference letters. Two letters, I scanned and saved them for transfer to Michelle. But, the file sizes were huge, 430kb's and that's just way too much to put on anyone, friend or foe. So, I tried a couple of "image crunches" and couldn't get the results. I tried a few more tricks to make sure I wouldn't put this "download" burden on Michelle. She surely wouldn't appreciate it. Finally, I decided to reduce them as best I could and post them to my website and therefor give Michelle the easy access and quickest download time possible. Combine this with the easy changes to my resume and by this weekend I would be in business.
Two weeks to get it all done is really not all that big of deal, is it? I mean, really, I've waited all these years to get started, why get in a hurry now? The stuff that has happened with "Some-resume-company.com" is just a fluke and the "powers to be" have arranged to take care of my problem and Michelle is the key, "DA woman". Life is good again, hopes and dreams will move forward.
I sent the "package" (as if it should be insured for a million bucks- HA!); now all I have to do is wait until tomorrow and my new resume will be on it's happy little way. Well, at least I think it will be, after what has happened and the fact that any other normal delivery time for "Some-resume-company.com" is within 24-48 hours, things should be cool. Especially on the second time around, right? Ya, ok, whew'ee, no sweat...
Uh oh… What's going on, is it just my luck or NO, I know it's not my deodorant? Is something wrong here? It's going on 24 hours and I haven't heard from Michelle. Why? Ok think about it. Well she's probably doing the final "twice over look" and anytime yes anytime, that baby of mine will be delivered in spectacular mono chromatic glorious new text on a colorized monitor. Whew'ee I'll be walking in high cotton...
(An hour goes by and I'm getting concerned again)
I should probably call Michelle's telephone number, introduce myself, and see how things are going. It would be good to "brake the ice", so to speak. After all, I'm not out to cause problems, I just want to move on and get this thing going.
I dialed the number and expected to get the answering machine again, leave a message and not get any return calls. ...Oh well, it would be disappointing but at least I wouldn't be miffed, that's what happened before. Think positive, I say to myself...
But NO, I actually got a human on the other end. And it was funny because he finished his greeting and I hesitated, thinking it was an answering machine.
I Asked to speak with Michelle.
He said, "Michelles out of the office".
I hesitated again in disbelief...
(Out of the office? Today? OUT OF THE OFFICE? You mean, gone?)
I told him, "I'll call back Monday".
Lie.
Ok, I'm thinking, this means no resume, no weekend to submit resume. NO resume AGAIN. Michelles out of the office. Really.
Must have big plans.
Important things to take care of.
Maybe she's sick?
Humm.
Maybe she doesn't want to work on Friday's cause it would cramp her perky attitude. You know the one that has to throw out the 'ol comment of stupidity "well I think it's much improved over the original document".
I don't give a rat's ass what you think Michelle I want you to be at work solving your customers problems and in Particular MINE. MINE, yes MINE.
Man, I get so disgusted when people just don't get it; it's not that hard to figure out these silly little problems. You get your work done before you leave some poor pitiful customer like myself sitting around to their own vices to think of how pissed off they are cause you didn't take care of them when you should have.
I can just hear it.... ya,ya, I know you have a life outside of work...
WELL why didn't you arrange with one of your colleges to take care of this problem? I've been waiting for two weeks for a 24 hour turn around! Get your head out of your ass and take an hour and do your job, Ms "Senior Managing Editor". Remember, CUSTOMERS LIKE ME are paying your wage.
Oh, excuse me, I guess I can't say that now, since I have been credited for my payment on a resume I haven't received, at least I've been told that by Michelle. And when and if I do receive my resume I'll feel guilty because I didn't have to pay for it and not because of Michelle.
Ya see, it's all wrong here. I have always paid my way. Worked my butt off until the job was finished. Never left a customer in a condition of stress or disbelief, that would be stupid in my thinking. Why am I the only one to fall to Murphy's Law or timing or communication or whatever, and why isn't anyone bust'in their butt to make it right for me?
How does it go, one bad customer talks to ten friends and those ten friends talk to ten other friends and... Oh my, I never wanted to get a customer pissed off cause,… ouch.
Oh well, I guess that's the way it is and in the mean time over the weekend, since I can't do my thing with my missing resume, maybe I'll spend some time looking for some missing friends and share my story.
Gentlemen, I hope my little story has done nothing but given you an understanding of how a simple resume can take on a meaning of hope. A minor problem to some. A powerful ingredient to make extraordinary transitions for others. And how one person or in this case, a few, can have a dramatic effect on the whole situation.
Best regards